Pirate Lions & Wieners

Caution: This post contains nudity and wiener flopping. Scroll at your own peril. 

Once more, I’m so far behind on my blogging that I don’t know where to start. I don’t know how other bloggers stay on top of it. Maybe if I rewarded myself with wine every time I wrote I’d do it more… who am I kidding, I do that already and it barely works. Anyways, let’s get to it. I know you’re curious about the wiener flopping.

Since I last posted, Abe and I have spent 2 weeks in Greece, a week in Amsterdam, a few days in Geneva and 2 weeks cruising Scandinavia. There’s a lot to catch you up on and it’s a bit overwhelming. So, in the wise words of Julie Andrews, I’ll just start at the very beginning (a very good place to start) and tell you all about Greece.

We split our time between Athens, Santorini, Paros, Antiparos and Mykonos. Santorini is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. Instead of describing it to you, here are a few pictures:

Santorini{Oia, Santorini}

Amoudi Bay {Amoudi Bay, Santorini}

Abe and I Santorini{Us in Oia, Santorini}

Unfortunately, it seems that half the Chinese population agrees with me and finds Santorini picturesque. As a result, we ran into at least 5 Chinese couples getting their wedding photos taken daily, in full bridal attire. Here’s the weird part though: those couples don’t actually get married in Santorini. Instead, they hold on to their wedding dresses and tuxes for a few years, until they travel to Greece and then do a photo shoot there. At least the grooms know their brides will stay skinny enough to fit into their dresses… that’s worth a photoshoot in Santorini, right? No fried rice for you.

hike in Santorini{During a 4-hour hike from Thira to Santorini, passing countless Chinese couples}

As for our time in Antiparos: we were really lucky to be invited by my sister’s best friend’s parents (still following me?) who have a home there. At first they didn’t recognize me (fair enough, they hadn’t met me before) and told me I didn’t look much like the picture they’d seen of me. So I started thinking I should probably wear makeup again, or do my hair, or do something to look like my pre-travel self. Eventually they showed me the picture in question though: turns out, it was picture of my sister. Mind you, they’ve met my sister repeatedly, and she stays with them for a week every year. Somehow they didn’t recognize her and assumed it must be me. Luckily, I still look enough like her, so they put their suspicions aside and let us stay. And fed us. And pampered us. And it was wonderful.

In Antiparos we spent our time boating in turquoise waters to other beautiful islands and beaches. There was also, I should tell you, a pirate lion on our boat. WHAT? That’s right, you heard me. A pirate lion. It was like Life of Pi, minus the fear of being eaten because he was a little too cute.

Pirate Lion{The lion on the boat}


Pirate Lion 2{Note the pirate flag}

Any resemblance to an oddly shaved dog is purely coincidental.

Mykonos also had its share of thrills. We went beaching, clubbing, ate lots of Greek food, visited archeological sites, and met this Italian guy:

Italian in Mykonos{At Paradise Beach, Mykonos}

You may find it hard to believe, but the front of his swimsuit was more revealing than its back. And he flopped ‘it’ on people. Wait, why am I censoring myself? He was flopping his wiener left and right, literally whacking people repeatedly with it to the tune of ‘What is Love.’ I know it may be hard (hah) to believe, but it was great beach entertainment. And I thought I’d seen it all on South Beach.

Ok, so now you’ve heard my share of Greek anecdotes. I’ll let Abe tell you more of our stories, and in a more refined voice I’m sure, with his great video (a masterpiece, in my opinion). See it below, or view the high res here: